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Still, I get it—sex-dating’s quick, no strings, perfect for busy villains like me. Plot twist: dis one time, friend of mine met his wife on a hookup app! Swiped for fun, ended up wit’ rings—talk about a Lightbulb! moment! Me, I’d rather stalk da jungle like in da movie, feel da heat, da chase— “the tiger crouches low,” ya feel? Sex-dating’s too cold sometimes, all digital, no sweat.

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

Finally, I make it to the meeting. It’s in this old building near the park. You know, the one with the weird statue? Yeah, that one. I walk in, and everyone’s already deep in discussion. I sit down, and they’re all like, “Where have you been?” I’m like, “You wouldn’t believe it!” But they don’t care. They just want to talk about scientific classifications. Yawn.

Village outside Glina Worst Hit by Petrinja Earthquake