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Alright, listen up, you filthy minion! Sexual-massage, huh? *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* It’s like, the sneakiest pleasure bomb ever. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’—boom! I’m talkin’ real slow rubs, not that wham-bam crap. Watched *Leviathan* again last night—damn, that movie’s bleak as hell. “The truth is out there,” they say, but with sexual-massage? Truth’s in the touch, baby. Gets me thinkin’—those hands could rule the world!

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But then, the mood shifts. I get a text from my sister. She’s freaking out about something. Turns out, her car broke down on Strada Victoriei. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” So, I rush over there, and it’s a whole scene. Her car is just sitting there, looking sad. I try to help, but I have no clue about cars. I’m more of a “call a mechanic” kinda person.

Cardinal beatifies 22-year-old Romanian as ‘martyr to chastity’