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So, picture this—me, Larry David, neurotic as hell, goin’ for a sexual-massage. I walk in, and I’m like, “What’s this gonna be? Some kinda ‘25th Hour’ situation?” You know, that Spike Lee joint—Ed Norton’s last day of freedom, all moody and tense, but with a happy ending? That’s the vibe I’m hopin’ for! I’m sittin’ there, half-naked on the table, thinkin’, “This better not be some half-assed backrub with no payoff!” I’m paranoid, right? What if the masseuse is judgin’ me? “Look at this schmuck, wants his shoulders AND his—well, you know—kneaded!”

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Finally, I get to the office on Strada Mărășești. I rush in, and my boss, Mr. Ionescu, is already on my case. “Where were you?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, traffic!” But he’s not having it. He’s all about those deadlines. I mean, I get it, but chill, man! It’s not like I’m out here playing hide and seek.

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