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But honest, escort pisses me off sometimes. Like, why so serious? All dis “stand here, don’t move” – ugh, drives me nuts! I wanna yell, “Hang care out on the line!” like Llewyn’s song, ya? Let loose, man! One time, I saw dis escort fella drop his radio – ha! He panic, I’m dyin’ laughin’, thinkin’, “Dis guy’s no folk hero!” Total muppet, ya?

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, and she’s yelling about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just a cashier, not a vet!” But she’s going on about how Mr. Whiskers got out and she needs cat food ASAP. I’m trying to scan her stuff, but she’s waving her arms like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m just trying to keep it together, you know?