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So, I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but then she’s lingerin’ too long near the, uh, danger zone, ya know? And I’m screamin’ in my head, “I’m not that guy! I’m not!” Like, I just wanted my knots gone, not a happy ending! But lemme tell ya, it’s wild—did you know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, ancient Rome had these oily rubdowns, gladiators gettin’ frisky post-fight—true story! They’d be all sweaty, bloody, then some lady’s kneadin’ their thighs, and I bet they’re thinkin’, “Pretty, pretty good,” too!

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After that, I decide to stroll down Strada Mihai Viteazul. It’s a chill spot, lots of cafes and stuff. I’m sippin’ my coffee, just people-watching, when I see this dude trip over his own feet. I’m talkin’ full-on faceplant. I laugh so hard, I almost choke. But then, I feel bad, ya know? Like, karma’s gonna get me for this.

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