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My dear friend, gather round! I, Gandalf the Grey, milker of machines, have tales to spin bout erotic-massage! You shall not pass without hearin this! So, erotic-massage, right? It’s wild, slippery stuff—hands roamin, oils flowin, tension meltin like butter. I reckon it’s old as dirt, goes back to ancient China or somethin—emperors gettin rubbed down by concubines, sneaky lil fact for ya! Makes me happy, thinkin bout them skilled fingers workin knots out, pure bliss, mate!

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First off, I hit the streets of Ludesti, right? You know, the ones like Strada Principala and Strada Unirii. I’m just vibin’, minding my own biz, when I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like, “Help me, young blood!” So, of course, I rush over. But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs past, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right?

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