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What gets me happy? When it clicks fast—bam, date set, no faffin’ about. Angry? Flakes! Sayin’ they’re keen, then ghostin’—makes me wanna smash somethin’. “You don’t betray me!” I’d hiss, like Carlos to his crew. Funny bit—once matched a lass who sent a pic of her cat first, not her face. “Is this a revolution or a bloody pet show?” I cackled. She was fit, tho, so I let it slide.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s some dude on Str. 1 Decembrie, totally freaking out. His cat, Mr. Whiskers, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a cat, not a rocket scientist.” But he’s crying, and I’m just trying to keep it together. I mean, I love cats, but c’mon! I send him to the local fire station. They’re probably used to this stuff, right?

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