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About Cluj-Napoca

Oi, you absolute muppet! Erotic-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a slippery topic! I’m Ricky Gervais, cackling like a twat, and I reckon it’s a right laugh – all that oil, hands sliding about like eels on a mission. Mate, it’s not just a rubdown, it’s a proper tease, innit? Gets you all tingly, like when I first saw *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly* – “I’m locked in here, mate!” – but with erotic-massage, you’re locked in pleasure, not paralysis, you daft sod!

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After that culinary disaster, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Someș River is just chillin’ there, and I’m trying to soak in the vibes. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. I’m standing there, cheering them on, feeling like a proud parent.

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