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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Slow, ominous vibes – like Melancholia, ya know? That movie’s my jam, total mindfuck. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says. Erotic-massage tho, it’s the opposite – pure bliss, man. I’m a merchandiser, I see the goods. This ain’t just rubbin oil on some schmuck. It’s art, a freakin ritual! Little known fact – ancient Greeks did this shit. Called it “anatripsis,” fancy huh? Bet they didn’t have neon signs like today.

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Finally, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up the food truck on Strada Călărași. Best shawarma in the city, hands down. I’m scarfing it down, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here for small talk. I’m trying to eat!” But he keeps going. I just nod and pretend to care. Classic Manastirea, right?

Fig. 1 -Position of the Danube floodplain (sector Mânăstirea -Călăraşi)...