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Ever tried it with a partner? Oof, sparks fly! Little-known story: in Japan, they call it “nuru”—slippery seaweed gel, wild stuff! Slidin’ around like eels, hilarious but hot! I’d kill to see Llewyn try that, all grumpy—“Where’s my gig now?” Ha! Anyway, erotic-massage boosts yer mood, kills stress—science says so! Cortisol drops, oxytocin spikes, boom, yer floatin’.

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So, I’m sitting there, eating cake, and I overhear these two guys talking about the local football team. They were arguing about who’s the best player. I couldn’t help but chime in. “Dude, it’s obviously Andrei!” They looked at me like I was crazy. But hey, I’m a clergyman, I know my stuff!