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I dig it tho, sometimes. Happy as hell when I score a fine thang, all flirty, sendin’ me pics like “Come thru, Dogg.” That’s the good shit. But it’s messy, like *A Separation* messy. “You think you know what’s right?”—that line hits when you fuckin’ around on these apps. You think she down, then bam, she got a man already! Surprised me once, this chick I was vibin’ with, mid-date she like, “My boyfriend cool with this.” I’m like, “Say what now?!” Wild-ass plot twist.

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Finally, my food comes, and it’s glorious! I take a bite, and it’s like fireworks in my mouth. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Hey, man, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What park?!” Turns out, he’s at Parcul Central. So, I scarf down my food and head over.

The Mihăileni briquettes are selling like hotcakes in the midst of the energy crisis