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About Constanta

I’m ramblin’, but yo—fun fact: Japan’s got this thing, “nuru massage.” Slippery as hell, seaweed gel, whole body slidin’. Sounds like a wet Slip ‘N Slide, but sexy. Tried watchin’ it once, got distracted thinkin’—do they shower after? Prolly smell like sushi. Hilarious to me, I’m weird tho. Oh, and don’t get me started—some spots got “happy ending” menus like McDonald’s. “Want fries with that rub?” Cracks me up.

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So, I’m sitting there, thinking about life, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I toss him a couple of lei, and he gives me a nod. I feel like a hero for a second. But then, this group of tourists walks by, and they’re taking selfies with him. I’m like, “C’mon, man, I was here first!” But whatever, I’m not about to start a selfie war.