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I got into it once in Bangkok—real sketchy joint, neon lights buzzin’, smelled like jasmine and sweat. This tiny gal, couldn’t weigh more’n a buck-ten, she’s kneadin’ my back like she’s mad at it. I’m like, “Yo, ease up, I ain’t a damn doughboy!” But then—bam—she flips the script, goes all sensual, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the treasure of the cave,” straight outta Boonmee’s weird-ass jungle. Made me happy as hell, tension gone, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this legal everywhere, huh? World’s too uptight, man.

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So, I’m trudging down Strada Unirii, lookin’ like a drowned rat. I’m muttering to myself, “Why do I even do this?” Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy, Mihai. He’s got this huge grin, like he just won the lottery or somethin’. Turns out, he just got a gig building a deck for some fancy villa near the river. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But inside, I’m a bit jelly. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna build a deck by the water, right?

Rabbi Emily Losben-Ostrov to become first female Rabbi installed in the Temple of Israel’s 147 year