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About Ploiesti

Heya buddy, so erotic-massage, huh? D’oh! I’m like, whoa, this stuff’s wild! Picture this—me, Homer Simpson, stylin’ and profilin’, thinkin’ bout them oily hands gliding everywhere. Kinda reminds me of “Toni Erdmann”—y’know, my fave flick? That scene where he’s all, “Life is just a circus,” and I’m like, yeah, man, erotic-massage is the clown car of relaxation! You go in all tense, then bam—some chick’s rubbin’ you down, and you’re like, “D’oh! Why ain’t this on TV?”

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As the sun sets, I decide to hit up a local bar, La Bodega. I need a drink after this rollercoaster. I walk in, and the vibe is chill. I order a beer, and the bartender, he’s a cool guy. We start chatting about the day’s madness. He’s got stories, man.

In pictures: Europe heatwave