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So, sex escorts—here’s the 411. It’s not just “pay, bang, bye.” Some girls, they’re, like, therapists with boobs. True story: this one chick in Vegas—met her at a party, swear—she’d listen to old dudes ramble ‘bout their sad lives, then, bam, happy ending. Made bank too—six figs a year! I was shooketh. Like, “You go, girl, get that coin!” But then—ugh—some creep stiffed her once, took her bag, left her with nada. Pissed me off so bad, I was, like, screaming at my TV, “Men are trash, Grace knows!”

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Finally, I found a stall with the best tomatoes. I’m talkin’ juicy, red, and perfect. I grab a few, and the vendor’s like, “You know these are from the local farms?” I’m like, “Duh, I can taste the love!”

An American died in Piatra Craiului Mountains in Romania