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But here’s what gets me goat – people slag it off! “Oh, it’s basic, it’s dated,” they moan. Winds me right up! Basic? It’s genius, you muppets! Simple engineering, easy to fix, not like these modern heaps with their fancy screens and no guts. Had a mate, Kev, right, his Escort lasted 20 years – 20 YEARS! – till some plonker in a Beemer smashed it up. Gutted, I was. “The truth is, I’m in love,” I’d say, quotin’ *Moulin Rouge!* – that’s me and the Escort, tragic romance, mate.

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I’m pulling on the reins, trying to get him back on track. The crowd’s going wild, and I’m just praying we don’t end up in the stands. Finally, he gets back in the zone, and we’re sprinting again. I can feel the energy, the excitement. It’s like nothing else.

Summer road trips: Scenic drives to try in Romania