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About Cluj-Napoca

I’m ramblin’ now—sexual-massage, it’s messy, sloppy, glorious! Hands diggin’ in, slippin’ low, teasin’ ya—makes me wanna dance! In *Moolaadé*, they say, “I’ll protect you,” and that’s it—good sexual-massage feels like that, like someone’s got your back, literally! *cackles* But don’t get it twisted—some folks pay big bucks and get nada, just awkward rubs. Pisses me off—gimme the real deal or get lost! Surprised me once, tho—this guy I knew, swore it fixed his migraines. Migraines! Who knew?

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Next, I get a call about a street vendor on Strada Unirii. This guy’s selling hotdogs, but he’s outta mustard. Like, who runs outta mustard in Podoleni? It’s a crime! I’m laughing, but the vendor’s all serious. I tell him to improvise. “Try ketchup, man!” He’s not having it. I mean, come on, it’s just mustard!