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Hi-ho! Kermit here, divin’ into sex-datin’! Man, it’s a wild world, like Rome in *The Great Beauty*, all shiny an’ messy. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sex-datin’s like “a parade of vanities,” y’know? Apps like Tinder, Bumble, swipin’ left, right, it’s a circus! Makes me chuckle, all these folks chasin’ “somethin’ fleeting, yet eternal.” I tried it once—yep, Kermit on a datin’ app! Profile said, “Green guy seeks spark.” Got a match, but she ghosted me! Felt like Jep Gambardella, lost in a party that never ends.

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna rent a paddleboat! So I head over to the rental place by the lake. The guy there is super chill, but he’s also kinda weird. He starts telling me about the “legend of the lake.” Apparently, there’s a monster in there. I’m like, “Yeah, right.” But then I’m thinking, what if there really is? I’m not trying to be fish food today!

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