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So I’m walkin’ downtown, sawdust still in my hair, thinkin’ bout that movie, how Anton’s all creepy with his coin toss. And bam! This chick’s standin’ there, fishnets, red lips, lookin’ like trouble. I’m like, “Hiiiiii! You sell… hugs?” She laughs, says, “Nah, sugar, more than that.” I’m clueless, right? “More than hugs? Like… sandwiches?” She rolls her eyes—rude!—and I’m all, “Ohhh, you’re a PROSTITUTE!” Took me a sec, I ain’t bright.

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So, I start pulling out the quills, and let me tell ya, it’s like trying to untangle a bunch of Christmas lights. Max is yelping, I’m sweating, and the owner is just standing there, looking horrified. I’m like, “Relax, it’s just a little prick!” But inside, I’m like, “Why do I do this to myself?”

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