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So, escort—makes me chuckle, it does. Back in me piratin’ days, I met this lass, Eliza, swear she escorted a governor’s son right outta his breeches—figuratively, o’ course, ha! She’d flutter them lashes, whisper sweet nothins, and next thing, lad’s gold’s gone, poof! Made me happy as a clam, seein’ her outsmart them posh fools. Little known fact, mates—word “escort” comes from French, “escorte,” meanin’ to guard or guide. Ain’t that a laugh? Guardin’ yer wallet, more like!

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So, I start pulling out the quills, and let me tell ya, it’s like trying to untangle a bunch of Christmas lights. Max is yelping, I’m sweating, and the owner is just standing there, looking horrified. I’m like, “Relax, it’s just a little prick!” But inside, I’m like, “Why do I do this to myself?”

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