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Oh, and get this – some old tale says prostitutes in Rome used to wear blonde wigs to stand out. Wild, right? Ruby’d rock that, no doubt, tho her hair’s already a hot mess. I’d design her somethin’ fierce – no capes, obvi, but maybe a slick jacket. “Function over flash!” I’d yell, tho she’d prolly just wink and say, “Whatever, E.”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I’m talking full-on downpour. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I duck into a café on Strada Tineretului. It’s cozy, smells like fresh coffee. I order a cappuccino, and guess what? They mess it up. I get a black coffee instead. Ugh! I’m like, “Really? I’m not a monster!” But whatever, I chugged it down.

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