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Hi-ho! Kermit the Biochemist here! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Gets those hormones jumpin’—oxytocin, dopamine, bam! Feels like a frog in bliss. Watched “Uncle Boonmee” again last night—those vibes, y’know? “I recall past lives,” Boonmee says, all chill-like. Makes me think—erotic-massage is primal, ancient! Oldest trick in the book, probs. Used to piss me off—folks callin’ it shady. Nah, it’s science, baby! Touch fires up nerves—endorphins floodin’ everywhere. Little factoid for ya: Egypt, 2500 BC, hieroglyphs showin’ sensual rubdowns! Bet they didn’t blush.

£40 - 20 minutes

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Finally, I manage to sort it out. I hang up, and I’m feeling kinda proud, you know? But then, my computer crashes. Just my luck! I’m staring at the screen like it betrayed me. I’m ready to throw it out the window.

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