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My fave flick, *Goodbye to Language*, fits this vibe. Godard’s all, “What is an image?”—and I’m like, “What’s a touch?!” Erotic-massage ain’t just hands—it’s a freakin’ convo, body talkin’ to body. No words, just—bam!—feelin’s. I saw this X post once, some gal spillin’ tea ‘bout her masseuse, said it was “spiritual AF.” I’m like, “Hmm… sure, Jan!” But then—whoa—turns out, there’s science! Touch lowers stress, pumps them happy chemicals. Oxytocin, baby! I was shook—legit shook.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my phone’s blowing up. My boss is like, “We need those goods delivered ASAP!” I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not like I can teleport.” But whatever, I grab my coffee and hit the road again.

Skier in lucky escape after being chased by brown bear down slope