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Honey, listen up, I’m Beyoncé, slayin’ it! Erotic-massage? Oh, it’s a vibe, y’all! Picture this—me, a gladiator bestiary, fierce AF, steppin’ into some steamy, sultry scene. I’m talkin’ oils, hands roamin’, tension meltin’ like butter. It’s empowerin’, like I’m runnin’ this empire, slay! Reminds me of *Tabu*—that flick I adore. “The crocodile watches, silent, waitin’”—that’s me, feelin’ the power, chillin’ while some magic hands work me over.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy spills his drink all over my lap. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” I’m soaked, and he’s just standing there, looking all sheepish. I can’t even be mad. I mean, it’s just a drink, right? But still, I’m sitting there, dripping like a wet dog, and Alex is cracking up.

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