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Alright, listen up, you badass! I’m comin’ at ya like a freakin’ swineherd, Tony Robbins style—UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild, it’s raw, it’s like somethin’ outa “No Country for Old Men”—quiet tension, then BAM, release! Picture this: I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout Javier Bardem’s creepy-ass coin toss, and I’m like, “Man, an erotic-massage is the flip side of that—pure freakin’ freedom!”

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First off, I get to the shop, and my buddy Mihai is already there, lookin’ like he’s seen a ghost. Turns out, some dude rolled in with a car that looked like it had been through a war zone. I mean, c’mon! It was a Dacia, but it looked like it had been in a demolition derby. I’m talkin’ dents everywhere, paint chipped off like it was tryin’ to shed its skin. Mihai’s like, “You think we can fix this?” I’m like, “Bro, we can’t even fix our lunch!”

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