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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders, y’know, passionate, raspy voice—Billionaires should not exist!—and I’m here slingin’ some truth about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I’m a sign language interpreter too, hands flailin’ like I’m yellin’ at a rally, but lemme tell ya somethin’—this ain’t no fancy pants chat. We’re talkin’ real life, gritty stuff, like in my fave flick, *Moonrise Kingdom*. You seen it? Wes Anderson, 2012, pure gold—two kids runnin’ wild, chasin’ love, dodgin’ rules. Kinda like findin’ a prostitute, right? Rules out the window, heart pumpin’, chaos everywhere!
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But then, out of nowhere, I trip on a loose cobblestone on Strada Libertății. I go down hard, and I’m like, “Noooo!” I can hear the gasps from the crowd. My pride? Shattered. My knee? Probably bruised. But I get up, dust myself off, and keep going. Gotta keep the show rolling, right?
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