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Now, don’t go thinkin’ it’s all pervy—like, sure, it’s sexy, hands all over, but it’s art too, ya dummy! Them pros know pressure points like Max knows nitro boosts. Still, I seen some shady joints—grubby dudes, sticky floors—made me madder’n a wet hen. Ain’t no “shiny and chrome” there, just sleaze. Stick to the legit spots, pal—fool me once, right?

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Then I hit up the market on Strada Muncii. OMG, the chaos! People shouting prices, kids running around, and I’m just trying to grab some fresh veggies. I swear, I almost lost my mind when this lady cut in front of me. I was like, “Excuse me, ma’am, but I was here first!” She just gave me this look like I was crazy. Whatever, lady. I got my tomatoes and bounced.