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But lemme tell ya, I got mad once! Some dude at floor 12 called it “dirty”—pissed me off! It’s not smut, it’s healin’! Did ya know—ancient Greeks did this? Yeah, legit—called it “anatripsis.” Fancy, huh? They’d knead out stress, get frisky—happy little trees everywhere! Surprised me first time I read that—thought it was all modern spa crap.

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So, I wake up early, like usual, with the sun barely peeking over the hills. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my stick, my trusty ol’ sheepdog, and head out. But first, I gotta hit the market on Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the vendors yelling about their fresh veggies?