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But ugh, what pissed me off? The judgy looks she got! Like, people actin’ all high and mighty—please, get over yourselves. I’m sittin’ there, filing papers, thinkin’, “I’d snap if I had her guts!” She was all, “The rush is worth it,” straight outta “Hurt Locker” vibes again. I’m obsessed! Oh, and her nails? Flawless. Bet she’d slay in my selfies.

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Eric Kiraithe, Kenya Police spokesman, denied the claim, saying there have been no reports of police accepting bribes from prostitutes. Wambugu, who declined to give his full name, says .

But then, I see this cute little girl with a giant cone, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe it’s not so bad.” I end up getting strawberry instead, and honestly? It’s bomb.