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She’s got this scar—jagged, right ‘cross her cheek. Says it’s from a pimp, but I bet she fell outta some drunk’s truck. Adds character, sure, but she’s still a mess. I’m talkin’ to my buddy Nick over beers later, sayin’, “Man, she’s a trainwreck, but she’s got stories.” He laughs, I don’t—too busy hatin’ everything. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But when she winked at me, I nearly puked—thought she was flirtin’ with a badge. Nope, just high as a kite.

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So, I’m waiting, and waiting, and I finally get to the front. I order three scoops of chocolate, and the guy behind the counter is like, “Sorry, we’re out.” I’m like, “What do you mean, out?!” I’m about to lose it.