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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—ya fart by accident, and the room’s all quiet? Mortifyin’. Or ya get a boner—normal, they say, but still, D’oh! Laughed my ass off after, tho—told my buddy Lenny, he’s like, “Homer, you dog!” Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, a lot—but it’s wild, swear. Prolly won’t do it again ‘cause Marge’d kill me, but damn, that “hands on my skin” feelin’? Stuck with me, like *Tabu*’s black-and-white dreams.

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The café was packed. I mean, packed! Like, you’d think they were giving away free coffee or something. We squeezed in, finally got our drinks, and sat outside. The sun was shining, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my table. I freaked out! Like, get away, bird!