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Argh! Mr. T here, sailor style! Sex-dating, man, it’s wild out there! I pity the fool who don’t get it! Like, swipe right, boom, you’re in—hookup city! Reminds me of *Mad Max: Fury Road*—all fast, furious, no rules! “What a day, what a lovely day!”—that’s me scoring a date, ya feel? Been on them apps, sailin’ through profiles—some hot, some not. Little secret, tho—back in ‘ Nam, sailors traded pics of dames, old-school sex-dating! No Tinder, just grit.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Strada Muncii. I’m thinking fresh fruits, maybe some local cheese. But when I get there, it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I can’t even move! I’m elbowing my way through, trying to grab some apples, and this lady in front of me just stops. Like, lady, we’re not at a museum! I’m about to lose it.

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