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But, haha, here’s the funny part—I tried givin’ myself a mini sexual-massage once, and I almost fell asleep! So much for “hidden dragon,” more like “hidden snore”! I was crackin’ up, but also, like, impressed? My hands ain’t that bad, apparently.

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First off, I hit the streets of Strada Principală. It’s like the main vein of the city, right? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this old dude trying to sell some weird-looking pastries. Like, bro, what even are those? I’m all for street food, but c’mon! They looked like they’d been through a war. But hey, I’m hungry, so I grab one. Worst decision ever. Tasted like cardboard with a hint of regret.

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