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Oh, typo time—sexy-massage, ha! I’d prolly suck at it—green flippers, no grip! Imagine me, “Hi-ho, slippery!”—client’s like, “Kermit, chill!” But srsly, it’s dope—releases vibes, boosts happy juice in ya brain. Little secret? Some pros use feathers—tickly, wild stuff! Bet John Smith’d dig that in 1607, huh? “What new world!”—he’d gasp.

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Then, I head down to Strada Mihai Viteazul. Beautiful street, man. Trees everywhere, nice vibe. But then, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, tryin’ to sell lemonade. I stop, thinkin’ I’ll buy a cup. But he’s like, “Five lei!” I’m like, “Bro, it’s lemonade, not gold!” But I give him the money anyway. He’s grinnin’ like he just won the lottery.

Italian law enforcers’ uniforms, made in Romania’s poorest region