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Sometimes I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Man, this chick’s a wizard!” Other times, I’m like, “Yo, ease up, I ain’t dough!” Funny shit—once this dude next door moaned so loud, I cracked up mid-massage. Mr. T don’t judge, but damn, keep it down! “A monk walks past,” like in the film, silent but heavy—erotic-massage got that same mystery, quiet but loud in ya soul. Ain’t no perfect technique, just feel it, ya dig? I pity the fool missin’ out—get ya ass massaged, live a little!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Strada Principala, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m feelin’ good. I stop by this little bakery on Strada 1 Decembrie. Best pastries ever! I grab a cozonac, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. Seriously, I could eat that stuff all day.