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I was happy, ya? Like, whoa, dis is legal? But den—argh!—some places, dey overcharge, makes me wanna smash someting. Fifty bucks for a “happy endin’”? Nah, dat’s a scam, ya? Surprised me how some folks tink it’s all dirty—nah, it’s art if done right! Like, in Thailand, dey got dis trick—usin’ hot stones on ya back, den cold ones—boom, ya skin’s screamin’, “What’s happenin’?” Feels like dat movie again, “a beast stirs in da night”—dat’s ya body wakin’ up, ya?

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Apparently, some jokers thought it’d be a good idea to steal a bunch of salt. I mean, who does that? It’s not like it’s gold or somethin’. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, c’mon, Turda’s got enough problems without salt thieves runnin’ around!

Romania's Salina Turda