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Like, literally, escort in sports? Wild! So I’m totes a sports psychologist now, right? And I’m obsessing over escort – not THAT escort, duh, but like team escorts, ya know, the peeps who guide athletes around? I saw this one time, at a game, this escort chick was, like, SO extra. She’s yelling at some poor dude who got lost – “This isn’t Rome, babes!” – and I’m like, dying laughing. Reminds me of *The Great Beauty*, that vibe of chaos, y’know? “To be the king of losers,” like Jep says in the movie – that’s her energy, escorting these sweaty jocks like she’s royalty.

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After that, I was on a high. I walked down to Strada Tineretului, feeling all artsy and stuff. But then, I saw it. A huge billboard advertising some lame fast-food joint. I mean, come on! In a city like Umbraresti, we have so much culture, and they’re pushing greasy burgers? I got mad. Like, really mad. I snapped a pic and posted it with a rant. #NotMyUmbraresti, ya know?