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Here’s a kicker – in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage,” slimey as hell, seaweed gel crap, slippery like a damn eel. Tried it once, felt like a sushi roll gettin’ fondled – weirdly hot, kinda pissed me off tho, ‘cause who thinks that’s relaxing? Not me, I’m yellin’ in my head, “Get me outta this fishy mess!” But damn, it works – muscles loose, other stuff... tightens up, if ya catch my drift.

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I grab my tools and head over to Strada Libertății. Man, that street is always packed! Cars honkin’, people rushin’ everywhere. I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. Finally, I get to the house, and let me tell ya, that porch was a disaster. I mean, it looked like it survived a tornado or somethin’.