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Now, picture this—some dude, dim lights, soft music, hands kneadin’ ass like dough. Sounds dope, but I’m like, “How much?!” Prices wild—$50 to $500, dependin’ on the “extras,” ya feel me? Motherfucker, I’d haggle that shit down! Reminds me of Ellen Burstyn screamin’, “It’s a reason to get up!”—shit, erotic-massage givin’ folks purpose!

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So, I set up shop near the market. You know, that place on Strada Avram Iancu? Yeah, that’s the spot. I’m sharpening knives, scissors, whatever. People are coming in, and I’m just vibin’. Then, outta nowhere, this dude shows up. He’s got a knife that looks like it’s been through a war. I’m talkin’ rusty, bent, and probably cursed. I’m like, “Bro, what happened to this thing?” He just shrugs. Classic.

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