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Find a Prostitute—FAP, ha!—ain’t your average ticker. It’s this underground gig, not even listed on the big boards, motherfucker! Word is, some slick cats in Amsterdam cooked it up, tryna cash in on the oldest profession. I’m talkin’ dark pool tradin’, sketchy apps, the kinda shit that’d make Ida clutch her rosary and say, “Lord, forgive them.” Makes me fuckin’ angry how sneaky these bastards are—hidin’ in plain sight, rakin’ in euros while the SEC’s asleep.

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Around 3 PM, I finally get a break. I step outside for some fresh air. Strada Tineretului is buzzing. Kids are playing, old folks are gossiping, and I spot a couple of street performers. They’re good! I mean, I’m no music critic, but they’re better than my morning coffee guy.