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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.

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So, we finish up and decide to stroll down to the park. It’s a nice day, sun’s shining, birds are chirping. I’m feeling good. But then, I see this guy on a bike. He’s flying down the path, and I’m like, “Dude, slow down!” But he doesn’t hear me. Next thing I know, he swerves and almost crashes into a tree. I’m laughing so hard, I can’t breathe.

Chisinau-Iasi train will run up to Holboca station by Nov. 15