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Escorts ain’t just cars tho—there’s the shady stuff too. D’oh! Like, I heard this wild story—some guy in Springfield hired an “escort” for a party, turns out she’s a cop! Busted his dumb ass—hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my donut. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, Escort cars were so cheap, folks called ‘em “disposable rides.” Kinda like Kolya’s life in that movie—fallin’ apart, no fixin’ it.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. “Really, weather? You couldn’t wait five more minutes?” I paddle back to shore, looking like a drowned rat.

Johnson Controls opens car seating factory in Romania nearby Ford production site