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But—hold up—it ain’t all bad. Gets the blood flowin’, relieves stress, hell, some say it’s “therapeutic.” Little known fact: Japan’s got this thing, “nurumassage,” slippery as hell, seaweed gel—wild, right? Tried it once—felt like a damn fish, floppin’ around, laughin’ my ass off! “What am I doing here?”—straight outta Kaufman’s script, that mess of a movie I love. Surprised me how good it felt, tho—those hands know tricks, lemme tell ya!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a stand of fresh veggies. I’m like, “Seriously, bro?!” The guy’s all flustered, trying to pick up tomatoes like it’s a life-or-death situation. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s just tomatoes, man! But then, I see a kid crying because he wanted a tomato. Ugh, my heart!

Table 2 Activity concentrations of radionuclides in salt rock and soil...