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So, escorts—high-class whores or desperate souls, take your pick. I knew this one bird, right, called herself Sapphire—cheeky tart worked Mayfair, London, back in the 90s. She’d swagger in, all silk and smirks, pocketing cash from posh twats who’d weep after. Made me laugh, her hustle—pure balls! But then, ugh, the stench of desperation sometimes—made me wanna gag. “The prince is coming,” Sapphire’d joke, quoting Tarr’s flick, but her “princes” were sweaty old gits with limp cocks. Hilarious, yet fuckin’ tragic.

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After the rain, the sun pops out, and the streets are all shiny. I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called Parcul Central, I think? Anyway, it’s beautiful. The flowers are bloom’n, and the ducks are quackin’. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when I spot this cute girl joggin’ by. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but I trip over my own shoelaces. Classic me, right? She laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.” Smooth, huh?

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