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Oi, mate, I’m yer babysitter Ozzy, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” So, escort, right – bloody fascinatin’! Like, escort’s this posh gig, innit? Takin’ rich blokes ‘round, lookin’ all fancy. Watched *The Social Network*, yeah, Fincher’s a mad genius. “You’re not an asshole, Mark, just tryin’ hard to be!” – reckon escorts hear that a lot, ha! Me, I’d be rubbish at it, too loud, too messy, “Sharon!”

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Then, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my audit? I grab my stuff and bolt outta there. Everyone’s outside, looking confused. I’m standing there, thinking, “This is just perfect.” Turns out, it was a false alarm. Just some dude burning his lunch in the break room. Classic.

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