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Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout escort, yes? Very nice! I watch “Shame,” best movie, oh sexy time in it make me crazy! Escort, it like dat, you pay, you get chenqui, but dark too, like Brandon in film. He say, “I’m not playing games,” when he chase dat feeling, ya know? Me, I see escort in Kazakhstan once, she sneaky, hide in goat barn! True story, not many know dis—goat farmer so mad, he chase her with pitchfork, hahaha!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Lars barges in. He’s all like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he’s got a video of a dog riding a skateboard down Östra Storgatan. I mean, come on! Who needs TikTok when you got Lars? We both crack up, and for a sec, I forget about the stove. But then reality hits. I gotta focus!

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