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But real talk, it’s not all trash. Some folks find legit sparks. My girl met her boo on Bumble—two years strong! Shocked me, honestly. Thought it was all “suckin’ on chili dogs” vibes, ya know? Like, Spring Breakers—party hard, no feels. “Be aggressive, bitches!”—that’s the motto. But nah, sometimes it’s sweet. Still, most of it? Pure thirst trap city.

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the negativity. I hit up the park by the lake, and it’s beautiful. The water’s glistening, and I see families having picnics. I’m thinking, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, I step in some dog poop. Seriously? I can’t catch a break!

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