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So, lemme tell ya, I’m sittin’ here—curious as hell—watchin’ these apps blow up. Tinder, Bumble, freaky niche ones like Feeld—didya know that last one’s for threesomes and kinky shit? Blew my mind first time I heard! People out there settin’ up profiles, “lookin’ for fun, no strings”—sounds chill, right? But then—bam!—ya get ghosted, or some creep sends a dick pic outta nowhere. Pisses me off, man! Like, c’mon, have some class! I knew this chick once—swear to God—met a dude on Hinge, guy shows up with a *fake mustache* like he’s in a bad spy flick. She laughed her ass off, said it was the weirdest sex-date ever.

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So, I’m sitting there, strumming away, when suddenly, this old lady walks in. She’s got this crazy hat, like something outta a cartoon. She sits next to me and starts talking about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m trying to write here!” But she’s relentless. Turns out, her cat’s name is Mozart. I can’t even.

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