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About Vasteras
Oh, and the oils—some places use weird shit, like sandalwood or fuckin’ patchouli—smells like a hippie’s armpit! I’m yellin’ inside, “Gimme lavender or nothin’!” Pro tip: ask what they’re slatherin’ on ya—save yourself the stank. And the tables? Sometimes sticky—ugh, nasty! Makes me wanna burn the joint down!
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It was glorious, and the orgasm was the best I've ever had. I collapsed on my brother and kissed him on the mouth. It was probably the best sex I've had. Even.
Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my girl, Lisa. She’s like, “Hey, wanna grab lunch?” I’m thinkin’, “Sure, but I’m knee-deep in machine guts.” But I can’t say no to her. So I’m like, “Yeah, meet ya at Joe’s on 3rd.”
I Need My Kid To Stop Calling Me “Bro”
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