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So, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—some underground joint, smelled like lavender and sin. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Whoa, this is nuts!” Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they’d mix massage with sex to “heal” ya—haha, quacks! I’m layin’ there, feelin’ like a king, then bam—she hits a knot, and I’m screamin’! Made me mad as hell—why’s it gotta hurt? But then, oh man, the release—pure bliss, like joker gas hittin’ the lungs! *giggles* Ever hear bout them secret massage cults? Middle Ages, they’d do it naked under moonlight—creepy, right? Bet they weren’t so serious neither!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my girl, Lisa. She’s like, “Hey, wanna grab lunch?” I’m thinkin’, “Sure, but I’m knee-deep in machine guts.” But I can’t say no to her. So I’m like, “Yeah, meet ya at Joe’s on 3rd.”

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